Confrontation is an emotionally charged occurrence. This happens when individual allows themselves to be drawn into the realm of aggressiveness like some Peacock or other animals. Leave this display for the amateurs. It does not help you. We believe in avoiding confrontation whenever possible.
Recognize that you’ve the ability to choose your response here. This may seem obvious to most, but many people out there still need to be calm. Merely reacting is allowing yourself and a part of your life to be controlled or manipulated to some degree by someone else. Practicing the suggestions below will bring about new ways to maintain your level of calmness.
- Before listening to others, take a minute to calm yourself. Ask yourself, what are my intentions? Take a deep breath. As you’re breathing, ask yourself, what do I need? Maybe you want ease, support some calmness? This is a calming technique to connect with yourself before trying it with another. Relax and take your time before communicating with others.
- When the other person speaks, focus on them. Many times we think we’re listening, but we are only trying to figure out what to say next while the other person is speaking. To listen deeper, try to know what the person is going through. This is called empathy. All the focus is on them, like a spotlight that can only shine on one person. Give them the whole spotlight. Don't worry, you’ll have your turn to speak.
- Try to guess their emotions. This is an important step in connecting with other people. Ask them, are you lonely, tired, frustrated or disappointed? There are many emotions to choose from. Other emotions may be nervous, upset, aggravated, disappointed or discouraged. This is only 10% of the connection and remembers to ask as a question. Do not be aggressive towards people.
- Try to guess what values are not being met in the moment. Needs are the life energy of every human being. When our values are met, we feel energized, not met energy is being depleted. When needs are met, people feelings are positive, not met they feel negative. We should not let our situation control us, we should have control over our situation.
- Try to guess what may meet your needs with strategies. Once you have identified your needs, it’s very likely that you want to find a way to meet your needs. Remember meeting our needs is energy building. There can be many approaches to meet one's need. Remember your strategy requests are guesses and not demands.
Example with Family: Your child comes home and is crying showing you a report card. Can you guess what needs of theirs have not been met? Maybe they need compassion, understanding, ease, communication or support. So we ask the child, do you want to talk about your report card? You don’t need to be aggressive towards the child, you need to be calm and ask questions. This is useful in finding a solution to the problem.
Remember that the aggressor is the unusual one here. Do not absorb aggressiveness. Of course, aggressiveness has its place in aggressive situations, but why alert your possible enemy to your mindset? Remain calm, and give them nothing. Remain neutral, stick to your game plan and remove yourself from the unwanted situation.
Stay calm with our #calm wall art